we're chasing vodka with high fives
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
