that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
