I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
