Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
