I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
