I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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