I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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