I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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