i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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