This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
