I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
