Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
