butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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