I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
