i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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