i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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