I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
