i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
