The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
