Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
