did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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