i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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