please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
