Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You smell like a Billy Joel song
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
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