I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
