I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
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