Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
