we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
