i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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