He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
