hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
