Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
