turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
