Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
