I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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