Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
