Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
