You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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