Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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