Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
