my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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