The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
