There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
