I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
