This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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