She's JV to your varsity
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
