drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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