I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
