I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
operation harelip BJ is a go
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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