make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
